Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Fun Ways to Destroy the Sanctity of Marriage

Cropped screenshot of Elizabeth Taylor from th...Image via Wikipedia

Conservatives accuse us of having a Gay agenda. We are out to destroy the sanctity of their marriages! Mmmmmmmkaaaaay! I thought No Fault Divorce did that....or was it Britney Spears? Wait, no! It was definitely Elizabeth Taylor! No, no, I am wrong; it is closeted Republicans sneaking around on their wives with men.

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If they are going to blame it on us, let's do it with syle.

1. Marry a gay person of the opposite sex! That would give us all the tax breaks! And if it's a marriage between a man and a woman that should satisfy the conservatives, right?
2. Form a plan of action to expose as many gay conservatives as possible. And we need video! So many of them have been busted, Larry Craig TWICE, but we have to have the video to prove it. Xtube could have a whole section on it! I know the very thought of this may make you wretch but I am sure there is someone who is willing to step up.
3. Form a church that every gay person can be a member of. No religion, this is purely financial. The cornerstone of our religion is that we can never receive money from anyone but the church and that each individual is his own church. All of our employers must pay the church for our services and the church immediately pays us. That should get rid of our taxes. That kind of goes beyond my original point but as long as we are destroying things, organized religion seem like a great target.
4. This falls more under the category of just pissing people off but I think that all gay people who are involved with the marriage ceremonies of straight people should immediately double their prices! If enough bridezilla's financially ruin their conservative fathers financially, they will have less money to fight us in the courts. And God knows you people need a drink after dealing with them all day. Let them fund it!

This is just a starting point, please feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments section. Excuse me, I am almost out of gin...

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